HOW DIFFICULT CHILDHOOD RESULTS IN PHYSICAL AND MENTAL PROBLEMS
Over 20 years of research shows that bad parenting and adverse childhood events – such as neglect or abuse – will likely negatively impact a child’s mental and physical health. Stress resulting from childhood trauma or abuse may influence genes that the children involved pass on to their children.
Childhood adversity covers experiences such as abuse, trauma, or neglect. It also covers unfavorable socioeconomic conditions such as low education, poverty, or unemployment which may continue from one generation to another unless the cycle is broken.
In a recent study, a group of researchers investigated two types of adversity. The first is the impact of serious conflict in a home, such as:
- Tension
- Verbal
- Physical violence or
- Arguments.
Second is the impact of severe financial difficulties experienced during childhood. After analyzing the data from the respondents, these researchers discovered that these two types of adversity predicted various health problems in adulthood. These adversities were exacerbated if people experienced both financial and conflict difficulties during their childhood.
The question every parent should ask after every rough-parenting day is, “Am I a bad parent?” it’s so easy to feel like your parenting skills are top-notch or below the bar until you take a step back and review. Now, while there is no one-rule-fits-all type of parenting, there are set guidelines that you can tweak to fit your child. The best set of advice for raising your children and relating with them at every stage of their lives are the ones by Richard Templar in his book Rules of Parenting.
The book has 239 pages with rules for raising your children as suggested by the author and rules for staying sane as a parent. The rules are divided into ten sections, so you could pick the book at any time and get answers in no time. The sections include:
- Rules of staying sane
- Attitude rules
- Everyday rules
- Discipline rules
- Personality rules
- Sibling rules
- School rules
- Teenage rules
- Crisis rules
- Growing up rules.
Richard Templar opines that the ten rules for staying sane are the most important in the book. Without them, the other 90 rules in the rest of the book are pointless. These rules will help you raise independent and well-balanced kids with you as their mentor. However, these rules are not cast in stone, they are only a guide, and you can decide to use them or not. But, if you decide not to use them, I trust your parenting style is well suited for your child.
Some of my favorite rules are:
- Rule 6: you don’t have to follow every piece of advice you get
- Rule 8: you are allowed to hide from your kids
- Rule 14: Treat your child with respect
- Rule 17: Good parenting is calculated risk-taking
- Rule 20: Parenting is not a competitive sport
- Rule 61: Schooling isn’t the same as education
- Rule 72: Remember Newton’s Third Law
- Rule 74: Don’t look under the mattress
- Rule 76: Don’t stand in front of a speeding train
- Rule 81: Don’t use your kids as ammunition
- Rule 97: Don’t guilt-trip them
- Rule 100: Once a parent, always a parent.
I strongly recommend this book to every parent and expecting couple and strongly advise every parent should have a hard copy handy. I wish you all the best as you strive to raise well-balanced kids who will honor you for making the sacrifice to raise them right.