RELIABLY UNRELIABLE (#2)

“Because of wetin? Wait, you think say you fit no give me dis beans? Wallahi baki isa ba, you and your beans” The babe was threatening me and my plate of beans.

“See ewa chop joor, her Majesty” I served the beans with garri made with chilled water and sugar.

“mmh… mmmh…mmmmh…What did you say is the name of this beans recipe again?”

“I been no tell you ooo, but na Honey beans, you know am charitable now” I said gleefully.

“I am making it tomorrow. Where you buy am abeg?”

“I will take you there after you have taken me to that masa joint tomorrow. You will buy me masa with soup and plenty kayanciki. Take note of the plenty kayanciki” I said rolling my eyes.

“Just to show me where to buy Bitter beans?” she was pouting again.

“Well, you can call it sour, but no chop my plate because you seem to have forgotten the beans on your plate is finished”

“Mehn! This ewa make much sense jare. For that, we have a deal. I have been thinking, as much as a person claims to be the receiver in a case of unreliability, do you think they do not contribute to the other person’s behaviour?”

“How do you mean?”

“Is unreliability completely the fault of one party? Doesn’t the other party have a hand in it?”

“Emm, I think the receiver could encourage such behaviour with silence. When a person first notices this attitude, they should point it out. Keeping quiet when the trend of unreliability begins encourages it. Over-permissiveness is another way of encouraging unreliability. Downplaying the importance of an interaction could also encourage unreliability. You like a person and want to be his/her friend, but you treat him/her like a stranger, you have given them reasons not to make the relationship a priority. People whose attention is gotten only by unreliability encourage people around them to be unreliable. You hang out with this friend, but everytime you are together, she is on phone or distracted, but comes alive to rant and rave and truly talk to you when you are late for a function or when you keep her waiting at the mall. Insensitivity also has a way of encouraging unreliability, this is because the other party is slow to share facts or possible reasons why they won’t come through because they believe you won’t understand.”

“Interesting. Can I safely say that it takes two for unreliability to happen?”

“Not really. As much as I agree that the receiver might encourage unreliability, we mustn’t forget that there are people who are habitually unreliable or if I may say reliably unreliable. For this set of people, unreliability is almost an incurable syndrome. I think most people in our world are gradually moving towards that trend”

“You used the word ‘syndrome’ and I believe most ailments have cures or possible ways of curbing or managing it. What ways do you think are available for curbing unreliability in human interaction?”

“Hajiya Annie, what is with the sparkle in your eyes?”

“Well… I think whatever your response is to this question, it will give me insight on how to be of help to someone”.

“Someone? Dis babe!Na one bobo abi?

“Neeyah, na only you sabi wetin you dey talk ooo. Answer my question ojare. No be only bobo na baba”

“Ok Ma. I think communication is a strong tool – I didn’t say just talk, I said communication because it is a two-way process. It isn’t the same thing as nagging or raving. Trust the person – show them you do. Be conscious that we all have weaknesses and make mistakes, do not be too quick to conclude they are unreliable on purpose.

The unreliable party should be ready to own up to their weaknesses. Accepting that you have been unreliable is a good place to start. Being open to make adjustment is another step, then making conscious efforts to be reliable is the final step”.

“Ahh! I am so glad I came here to gist you about Eni and Bob. This discussion has been super enlightening. I must confess that gisting with you is always refreshing. Make your head no burst ooo”.

“Hahahaha. I am not glad you came, you don short my ewa for me. Hahahhaha, just kidding. It has been really cool. You will make a good interviewer, shey you know”. “What plans do you have for the evening?

“None ooo” she replied.

“Oya, go dress up, make I introduce you to my world”.

“What world? Hope no be winchy tins o?”

“Yes, winchy tins. Let’s go to the Badminton court jare. Bush gurl”.

“Ahh! Na im you dey talk small small? Am dressing asap. Shey some fine bobos dey come dere?” she dashes a mischievous look.

“I no know oooo. Abeg go. See you downstairs in 20minutes” I said gently pushing her towards the door.

“Alright, see ya”. Annie screamed in excitement as she ran down the stairs.